Pagan Thoughts

Today, I tried meditating using the suggestion of keeping the lights on, with no music. Unfortunately, Nick’s computer made a monkey sound a couple of times, which distracted me for the moment. But not completely. I stayed in the mode for about 9 minutes. It didn’t really do much of a difference; though it possibly made it easier to clear my mind. It did feel like less of a sleepy state, but nothing really came from it. Just images of online dollmaker dolls. And lots of shades of blue - rich blue, turqiose, and aquamarine, mainly. Which is probably because I’ve been using blue font colors online, and I played with a dollmaker earlier. So, nothing special came from this meditation.

Perhaps I shall review my "Meditation Tips" post before I do so tomorrow night. I may try a candle meditation next time, too - eyes open, focusing directly on the flame of the candle.

Pagan 20 Questions, found on Sunfire’s blog on CS

3) Do you feel you have a past connection with the Fae?
No. I just think the idea is really cool, hehe. As well as the glittery pictures found of faeries online.

8) Your favorite time of year?
Spring and Summer. Sunshine, & nature’s living stages make me shine

9) Your personal Interests?
Internet, yoga, crochet, writing, painting, other random crafts, my lovey

10) Your favorite hobbies or crafts?
Wasting time online. Crochet. Painting. Cooking.

11) Who would you most care to communicate with that has passed on?
My mum. To know if I’m still a good girl without her direct guidance *modest smile*

12) Where would you like to be right now?
Sitting in my woods in the summer

13) If you could change one thing in your past, what would be?
I would’ve been more talkative with my mum while she was sick, & less resistent to the inevitable. My father wasn’t quite the best influence on me. :/

20) After you pass on from this life, tell us now, what have you learned?
Love for everyone & everything has boundless advantages to how peacefully life is lived.

Personal Ceremonies
If you were to plan your own Wedding or Funeral ceremony, would you create two separate ceremonies for pagan and non-pagan folk, or would you just plan a ceremony around your beliefs. How would you feel if any non-pagan friends or family did not wish to attend such a ceremony?

As far as a funeral — I don’t think I really care what kind of funeral I’d have, heh. I don’t think the funeral itself decides what happens to the soul; it’s just a means of getting people together, around a dead body, to remember who the person was & for the attendees to console one another.

For a wedding — I’ve been contemplating that a little bit. I imagine a pagan inspired wedding, in a park or something outdoorsy. Having someone important to the both of us speak some words, and have a unity candle. Rings, of course, haha. Have it be potluck (everyone bring something suitable that they enjoy). I don’t really think anyone (Christian, Jewish, whatever) would have much of a problem with it. 

I had a few interesting dreams. One, I can’t remember who I was with, but it was an older man & woman (possibly my Uncle Kenny & Aunt Delores), & we were just leaving a thrift store. Well, it had the feel of thrift store, but it looked really cluttered w/ high walls, like Super Flea. As we were leaving, we passed a woman walking around with a purple, lacey thong on a hanger. She was with a man (they both looked to be in their late 20’s-early 30’s; the woman had somewhat short, crimpy, dyed burgundy hair)  & she’d put it on her head for a second, so I gave her a weird look. So did the guy I was with. As we got outside, he started going off about how weird the lady was & I had to hush him & nudge him to look behind because she was right behind us. So, as we were walking to our car, I looked to the left at the rest of the plaza & saw a grocery store & a photo developping place. I’d remembered that I had a roll of film to develop, but decided to get the people I was with home before going there, mainly because I didn’t want to be with them anymore.
In another setting (perhaps the dining room in the following dream), I remember being with my Uncle Kenny, Uncle Ronny, & my gramma. My gramma was complaining to me about how Kenny never listens to her, & she yelled out his name to prove that he wouldn’t respond. Which he didn’t. Uncle Ronny came around te corner & said "what?!", joking around with her as though she called for him. I then told gramma that Uncle Kenny has hearing problems, and she said "oooh", as though she didn’t know.
The last dream I remember occured at what (I’m assuming) was supposed to be Angela’s old house on Mapleton. I was there with Angela, Mikey & Eric, and a bunch of people I didn’t recognize. We were planning on going outside to smoke a bowl; and, at first, I thought it was too cold out, but when I looked outside it was like a cool spring afternoon, with partial sun, as though the sun was just setting. I told them I wanted to make myself a sandwhich & I’d be right out, & they said ok. I started making my sandwhich & I realized I had to get something from the basement. So, I went downstairs, & some (teenage) boy was down there playing a video game. Shortly after I’d gotten down there, he turned the game off. I asked him something like "you sick of it already?" and he said "yea", but it seemed like a ‘flirting’ type of conversation. I grabbed the seasoning (or whatever it was) that I needed & headed back upstairs. I was also looking for a place to sleep & plug the internet into my laptop for later. By the time I’d gotten outside, it was pretty much dark. I sat down at a picnic table in the backyard with Eric, Mikey & Angela, and Angela started ragging on me for taking my sweet time. Eric was drawing something, Mikey was painting something, and Angela was reading a book. So, we all smoked out of this nice, big, thick, purple green & black pipe, & Mike & Eric left, so me & Angela started talking. The rest of the dream is a little hazy, but I remember sitting in the dining room (which pretty much looked like the one in my apartment now) on my laptop; and I remember someone (probably Cassie) giving me a tarot reading. I remember doing a set of 10 cards- the first was "death", the second was "justice" (or something like that), and I don’t remember the faces of the rest of the cards.